So tired of this charade … tired of pretending…
… pretending I’m Okey… pretending I’m fine….

I‘m not fine, I’m not Okey at all…

For each day that passes I realize……how lonely I really feel
… not belonging anywere… with anyone
The lonelier I feel, the more I tend to give…
….the more I seem to pretend
I have just survived…. but I’m not alive….’

I‘m tired of pretending being allright…
I‘m not alive….. without love… I’m not alive……….
I used to believe that my love was out there…. even thought I found her..
…. used to belive that love would find a way….
Some day we’re all going to die, no one can escape that
… I’m okey with that, but not before I really felt alive, not before love..

I
feel I’m dangerously close to lose faith …. faith in love…
… and love is the only thing that can bring me amongst the living again…

I‘m not dead… but I’m not alive… not alive.

Is this it ?
Will I not mean something to somebody ??

There ….

Am I for ever going to have to hide ?
Am I never going to get to be me…..?
Will I not matter ?. …count for something ?…. be valuable ?…..
Is it really all about the money ?

Can’t feel it my heart, can’t feel like dancing… can’t feel hope
I often smile at people…. and cry inside…… today too

Tired of this charade…. tired of pretending…